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--- conflict_resolution_-_daniel_dana [2016/07/13 16:07] – hpsamios
+++ conflict_resolution_-_daniel_dana [2016/08/11 08:44] – ↷ Links adapted because of a move operation 204.86.231.10
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 ====== Review and Notes ======
-When I got accepted to present the session [[how_to_work_personality_issues_without_sounding_like_a_marriage_guidance_counsellor|How to Work Personality Issues Without Sounding Like a Marriage Guidance Counsellor?]] at the [[https://www.agilealliance.org/agile2016/|Agile 2016 Conference]] I decided that I needed to do more research into the issue of general conflict resolution. This book was recommended to me by [[http://www.agileinfusion.com|Bob Schatz]] with the comment "Most of us are not trained in conflict resolution." He went on to say "In fact, most of what we learn about conflict resolution we learned by watching our mother and father deal with issues."
+When I got accepted to present the session [[hans_samios_how_to_work_personality_issues_without_sounding_like_a_marriage_guidance_counsellor|How to Work Personality Issues Without Sounding Like a Marriage Guidance Counsellor?]] at the [[https://www.agilealliance.org/agile2016/|Agile 2016 Conference]] I decided that I needed to do more research into the issue of general conflict resolution. This book was recommended to me by [[http://www.agileinfusion.com|Bob Schatz]] with the comment "Most of us are not trained in conflict resolution." He went on to say "In fact, most of what we learn about conflict resolution we learned by watching our mother and father deal with issues."
 The reality is that when we are involved in conflicts in a later part of our live, we are more than just "involved". We are in fact part of the conflict, and so are not exactly unbiased participants in the exercise. Further, it is questionable as to what we learn from the event. Do we have a bias based on what we see the "result" was for example. If I won, was the approach I took good?
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 Few people, and fewer organizations, have discovered the benefits of interest-based negotiation. We are not actually wired for it. Since we work with people who behave in ways that we perceive as threats to our self-interests we respond in the traditional, reflexive fight or flight mode:
-  * Fight: Again, this probably not de-generate to "fisticuffs at dawn", but we will probably seek to ensure our safety by defeating our adversaries.
+  * Fight: OK, this probably not de-generate to "fisticuffs at dawn", but we will probably seek to ensure our safety by defeating our adversaries.
-  * Flight: OK so we probably don't run away, but we will probably distance ourselves from our adversaries in order to avoid conflict.
+  * Flight: Again, so we probably don't run away, but we will probably distance ourselves from our adversaries in order to avoid conflict.
 The problem is it is these same people whose trust and cooperation we must somehow gain if we want to work effectively together. So we are left with the situation where “We can’t (or perhaps shouldn't) fight our way out of conflict, but we can think our way out of it.”